Victim and Survivor are terms associated with trauma, very stressful and frightening events that are difficult to cope with. There is no single definition of trauma. The ways we are exposed are vast, and all individual responses are personal. There is no “normal” reaction to trauma.
When I was growing up, I was a voracious reader. I enjoyed Nancy Drew mysteries and biographies published by Signature Books. This collection of biographies told the stories of people who overcame difficulties and trauma to become famous and made a difference. I was a victim of trauma, and from their struggles and successes, I learned how to navigate my world of chaos and pain. They gave me hope.
I was not interested in characters who were victims who blamed everyone and everything for their problems; I was drawn to the survivors who rose like phoenixes from the ashes of their lives, finding strength within and support from others.
Everyone who experiences a traumatic event is a victim. Whether they move on depends on their mindset, the mental attitude or set of assumptions that influence interpretation and responses to the situation. The mindset of a victim focuses on what happened and who is to blame.
Cindy felt persecuted as a victim after her traumatic experience. She was also delusional, seeing and hearing things that never happened. Sadly, she was trapped in overwhelming hopelessness, unable or unwilling to take control of her life. Wallowing in self-pity, dwelling on the problem rather than seeking help, she sought sympathy from others to assure her that she is a victim.Cindy has trouble learning from her experiences and continues repeating events that contribute to her victim mindset.
Clay is also a victim of trauma even though he was the perpetrator. The trauma of his actions remains with him, shadowing his toxic relationship with his parents. Even though he has grown and matured, his mindset remains as a twelve-year-old with them.
Two different victims with similar mindsets. One continues a mindset and cycle that colors everything in her world. The other cannot get past the insurmountable challenges and guilt, remaining trapped in painful behaviors that push away all those who knew him as a twelve-year-old.
Traumatized victims have every right to grieve, to be angry, to be hurt, but they will never really heal until they stop wallowing in these emotions.
Traumatized victims often keep repeating the same problems and have trouble learning from experiences. Their behaviors are not from moral failings or lack of willpower of bad character, but are caused by changes in the brain.
Common Phrases of a Victim
I hate Black History Month because most of the focused information dwells on the victimhood of the enslaved, not on the success of the survivors. Every display seems to focus on the unnamed man and the horrific scars on his back.
Teaching social studies, I was frustrated in my search to find resources showing those survivors of the “peculiar institution” who were supported by community, customs, traditions, oral history, and adaptability.
Thousands who ran for freedom and those who purchased freedom not only for themselves, but the freedom of their enslaved families relied on initiative, gumption, hard work, fearlessness, and hope.
Jeanne was a victim of multiple traumas—war, abandonment, extreme abuse. She couldn’t change the world, but she could accept the challenges she faced by helping others. She knew pain. Jeanne realized that she would remain a victim if she didn’t shift her mindset from focusing from powerlessness to empowerment by controlling her emotional and mental wellbeing.
Survivor Mindset Phrases
Trauma is rooted in the body’s unfinished response to threat. When the body and mind become immobilized with fear and distress, the energy generated to fight off or flee from danger becomes frozen in our bodies.
Trauma can be used as a secondary character influencing the character arc of the protagonist. Someone who retains a victim mindset may be doomed as negative character who seeks to blame everyone and may lead to mass violence against those held responsible. A survivor mindset creates a character arc that pushes the protagonist past their flaws and weaknesses, creating a better person.
Trauma can make it easy to slip into a victim mindset where negative self-perceptions take over.
Persistence and courage are required to heal emotional trauma.
Conclusion:
Respect your character’s journey. Understanding the impact of trauma helps them to continue growing despite overwhelming life experiences.
Trauma changes characters fundamentally, but real people should not be defined by their trauma or suffering.
Focus more how traumatized people can fix their lives and less about how they cannot.
By taking charge of the healing process, trauma victims gain a sense of safety to find ways out of the morass of suffering.
When characters fail to evolve, they become predictable characters of themselves, and that makes them boring.
Whether victim or survivor, give your character the power to choose their mindset and shape their destiny in order to thrive beyond mere survival.
Marie Q Rogers
Good insight. Thank you.
Kathy Dobronyi
In order to treat our characters who have had traumatic experiences, insight will give them the respect they need. Thank you for your comments.
Connie Morrison
This reminded me of something I read a long time ago about writing your memoir as a fairy tale (in third person, of course) and that would help with writing about trauma. Thanks, Kathy, for stirring my memories.
Kathy Dobronyi
I was very thankful to have stumbled on narrative nonfiction when writing my memoir. When I was young, Mother verbally attacked me when I was quite young with this accusation: “I, I, I, it’s always about you, isn’t it?”
When I sat down to write my story, I heard her voice carping at me.
Bonnie Ogle
Thanks, Kathy! We have all been or will be victims of a trauma in our lifetime. The trick is to not define ourselves as one! You ARE certainly an author and are encouraging the rest of us.
Kathy Dobronyi
Many times we don’t always identify traumatic experiences. When I was a teenager in love, I felt it was traumatic, but it was teenage angst. Big difference between jilted love and a violent death, but I did not understand until I got older and wiser.
As a teacher, I enjoy encouraging others and listening to encouragement. Thank you for your wonderful comments.
Mallory
I hadn’t realized how so many of my “characters” are victims of trauma and how so much of my stories have been built around how they react to trauma. In so many ways, their traumas “made them who they were.” Thanks for the “clarification!”
Kathy Dobronyi
Strangely, we write about trauma, but rarely think about it. Something bad that causes a reaction or consequence, but trauma is deep seeded.